Nafisa and Obioma are friends who met in university. Nafisa lives at home with her parents while Obioma stays in a flat near the school campus. Nafisa texts Obioma on a late Thursday night. She is hysterical because her conservative Muslim mother just found out she has an OnlyFans account and been posting racy images and videos of her feet there. Obioma is stressed out because she is simultaneously worried for her friend, needs to study for an exam and must find someone to help her pay her rent. Silliness ensues.

Obioma looks up from her textbook when she hears the WhatsApp notifications on her phone.

Nafisa:

Obioma

You get space for your flat?

Am coming to your place now

Obioma:

What happened?

You gave me like

ten missed calls

Nafisa:

My mother saw my phone.

Obioma:

And so?

Nafisa:

She saw pictures and videos on

my phone.

Obioma:

Which pics

Nafisa:

Mumu the feet pics from my

OnlyFans.

Obioma:

      Wawu 🙆🏾‍♀️🙆🏾‍♀️

       ….too bad sha

Nafisa:

Is that all you can say??

Obioma:

Youre like the only

person that doesn’t have

lock on their phone

I told you many times to

put password.

Nafisa:

I can’t! It will be like I

have something to hide!

Obioma:

But you do!! Mtcheeeew

which pictures did your

mom see sef?

Nafisa:

She saw plenty pics AND videos.

The ones with Louboutin’s

the one where I painted my nails

the one I wore toe rings and gold anklets

and the one that I wore that shiny

pantyhose

Obioma:

Nafisa:

The one where am wearing socks

the one where am cutting my toenails

the one when am painting my toenails

the one when am giving myself pedicure,

the one when I stepped on eggs

my god Obi I have this one female customer

that pays me extra when I step on eggs                                                         

Obioma:

Nafisa:

Obi sweerie don’t be like that now

That one is even my favorite customer sef

I think she really likes me 😁😁😁

Obioma:

You sef

Nafisa:

Dont worry boo you know youre the

only one for me  

Obioma:

🙄🙄🙄

Nafisa:

then I have this other female customer

that one is an old woman with grandchildren

she always wants me to use nail cutter

and she likes when I put my leg inside

my flesh light the one that looks like vagina

Obioma:

                                                                                                                        Nafi abeg its ok

Nafisa:

Ah ah babe are you jealous now

Obioma:

I said its okay now

continue what you

were saying before

Nafisa:

You know you love me boo

Nafisa:

Ehen so there was one with nail-cutter

and the one when I rubbed cream

in between my toes.

and that’s not even the worst one

Obioma:

How can anything be

worse than this??

Nafisa:

So I have this dildo and flesh-light and

the flesh light looks like two feet

touching each other.

So I went live on ig and I was using the two  

at the same time because I thought

the house was empty and I forgot to

lock the door.

Obioma:

Ewo!

Nafisa:

So I was pushing the dildo into the

flesh light and I was moaning and

I was being very loud because the

louder you are the more views you get,

and I was getting very close,

especially as I was thinking

of how much money I could make.

Obioma:

Jesus Christ get to

the point Nafisa.

Stop being nasty.

Nafisa:

Anyhow sha 🙄🙄

I was very very close and then

my mother entered my room

and she said she heard me shouting

and Obioma, she saw everything o

Obioma cannot even believe what she is reading; it sounds like a made-up story.

Obioma:

😂😂😂😂😂

Imagine one small

Hausa woman

seeing all of these

things.

Nafisa:

Stop laughing now

This thing is serious

As in, that’s why I’m coming

to your place now.

Obioma:

Ehn?

Nafisa:

Obi dan allah abeg

please don’t play

Obioma:

Who said I’m playing?

You cannot come to my

flat with this your

nonsense

Nafisa:

Where will I go? It’s almost 11 pm

and everywhere is closed.

The guys from class will not help me at all.

Dan Allah let me come to your place now,

just for one night then I’ll

find somewhere in the morning.

Obioma:

No vex ehn but I need to

study for my exam it’s

tomorrow morning.

Nafisa:

Wallahi I will help you study,

also were you not complaining about rent,

I’ll help you pay your rent too,

shebi you need a roommate?

Obioma thinks it over; she does need a roommate and quickly too. The girl she was sharing her flat with randomly packed out two weeks ago.

Obioma:

Oya you can come but

you cannot be obvious

with this your onlyfools

thing.

Nafisa:

It’s OnlyFans

Obioma:

Anyone. Just be doing it

jejely, you know it’s that

pastor’s wife that owns

this place and sometimes

she likes to do surprise

inspection.

Nafisa:

Obioma:

I dont know o she says

she likes to check if

everything is working

well and if tenants have

any complaints but its

random and she checks

through our things.

Nafisa:

Obioma baby you have to leave that

place ASAP what kind of thing is that

don’t worry we’ll go

and beat that woman.

Obioma:

Beat?? Why do you want to beat

someone?

Nafisa are you smoking now?

Nafisa pls don’t tell me you’ve

been high this whole time.

Were you high when your mother

cught you???

??????

Nafisa answer me pls.

chaye this girl has killed me

Nafisa:

Calm down o am driving.

Obioma:

Why are you driving and

texting???

Nafisa:

No time to stop and text

I was running around trying to

pack my things because when

my mother saw everything,

she started calling me karuwa

and shedan and then she said

she would call my father and

the imam so I had to leave.

Kai, I think I forgot my weed.

It calms me down before I start

filming my videos or when I take

my pictures.

Also, there’s one subscriber I have

that likes when I look like I’ve been

smoking. He says it gives the videos

that extra thing.

Obioma is stressed as she’s reading Nafisa’s texts. She knows her friend can be wild but this is something else entirely.

Obioma:

Oya be careful as you’re

coming.

I hope you don’t see any

road safety.

Nafisa:

Obi stop worrying so much

Nothing will happen

Road safety should hope they don’t see me

😎😎😎

Obioma imagines a road safety officer peering into Nafisa’s car with a torchlight and seeing her red-rimmed eyes and a hastily packed bag filled with a laptop and phallic shaped objects.

Obioma:

  

….call me when

you reach so I can

tell the gateman 

Obioma goes back to her textbook and prays Nafisa does not become a trending topic online. Maybe as she calms down, Obioma can finally get the chance to talk to Nafisa about her feelings for her and how she thinks they might be reciprocated…

About the author:

Onyeche Ada Onobu is a content creator and aspiring writer from Benue, Nigeria. She writes flash fiction pieces with elements of black comedy, drama, science fiction, fantasy, and Afrofuturism. She studied at Salisbury University where she majored in Creative Writing and minored in French. She currently freelances at a broadcasting television network in Abuja, Nigeria where she writes scripts, edits videos and films comedy skits. You can reach her at onyecheaonobu@gmail.com.

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