Nafisa and Obioma are friends who met in university. Nafisa lives at home with her parents while Obioma stays in a flat near the school campus. Nafisa texts Obioma on a late Thursday night. She is hysterical because her conservative Muslim mother just found out she has an OnlyFans account and been posting racy images and videos of her feet there. Obioma is stressed out because she is simultaneously worried for her friend, needs to study for an exam and must find someone to help her pay her rent. Silliness ensues.
Obioma looks up from her textbook when she hears the WhatsApp notifications on her phone.
You get space for your flat?
Am coming to your place now
You gave me like
ten missed calls
My mother saw my phone.
She saw pictures and videos on
Mumu the feet pics from my
….too bad sha
Is that all you can say??
Youre like the only
person that doesn’t have
lock on their phone
I told you many times to
I can’t! It will be like I
have something to hide!
But you do!! Mtcheeeew
which pictures did your
mom see sef?
She saw plenty pics AND videos.
The ones with Louboutin’s
the one where I painted my nails
the one I wore toe rings and gold anklets
and the one that I wore that shiny
The one where am wearing socks
the one where am cutting my toenails
the one when am painting my toenails
the one when am giving myself pedicure,
the one when I stepped on eggs
my god Obi I have this one female customer
that pays me extra when I step on eggs
Obi sweerie don’t be like that now
That one is even my favorite customer sef
I think she really likes me 😁😁😁
Dont worry boo you know youre the
only one for me
then I have this other female customer
that one is an old woman with grandchildren
she always wants me to use nail cutter
and she likes when I put my leg inside
my flesh light the one that looks like vagina
Nafi abeg its ok
Ah ah babe are you jealous now
I said its okay now
continue what you
were saying before
You know you love me boo
Ehen so there was one with nail-cutter
and the one when I rubbed cream
in between my toes.
and that’s not even the worst one
How can anything be
worse than this??
So I have this dildo and flesh-light and
the flesh light looks like two feet
touching each other.
So I went live on ig and I was using the two
at the same time because I thought
the house was empty and I forgot to
lock the door.
So I was pushing the dildo into the
flesh light and I was moaning and
I was being very loud because the
louder you are the more views you get,
and I was getting very close,
especially as I was thinking
of how much money I could make.
Jesus Christ get to
the point Nafisa.
Stop being nasty.
Anyhow sha 🙄🙄
I was very very close and then
my mother entered my room
and she said she heard me shouting
and Obioma, she saw everything o
Obioma cannot even believe what she is reading; it sounds like a made-up story.
Imagine one small
seeing all of these
Stop laughing now
This thing is serious
As in, that’s why I’m coming
to your place now.
Obi dan allah abeg
please don’t play
Who said I’m playing?
You cannot come to my
flat with this your
Where will I go? It’s almost 11 pm
and everywhere is closed.
The guys from class will not help me at all.
Dan Allah let me come to your place now,
just for one night then I’ll
find somewhere in the morning.
No vex ehn but I need to
study for my exam it’s
Wallahi I will help you study,
also were you not complaining about rent,
I’ll help you pay your rent too,
shebi you need a roommate?
Obioma thinks it over; she does need a roommate and quickly too. The girl she was sharing her flat with randomly packed out two weeks ago.
Oya you can come but
you cannot be obvious
with this your onlyfools
Anyone. Just be doing it
jejely, you know it’s that
pastor’s wife that owns
this place and sometimes
she likes to do surprise
I dont know o she says
she likes to check if
everything is working
well and if tenants have
any complaints but its
random and she checks
through our things.
Obioma baby you have to leave that
place ASAP what kind of thing is that
don’t worry we’ll go
and beat that woman.
Beat?? Why do you want to beat
Nafisa are you smoking now?
Nafisa pls don’t tell me you’ve
been high this whole time.
Were you high when your mother
Nafisa answer me pls.
chaye this girl has killed me
Calm down o am driving.
Why are you driving and
No time to stop and text
I was running around trying to
pack my things because when
my mother saw everything,
she started calling me karuwa
and shedan and then she said
she would call my father and
the imam so I had to leave.
Kai, I think I forgot my weed.
It calms me down before I start
filming my videos or when I take
Also, there’s one subscriber I have
that likes when I look like I’ve been
smoking. He says it gives the videos
that extra thing.
Obioma is stressed as she’s reading Nafisa’s texts. She knows her friend can be wild but this is something else entirely.
Oya be careful as you’re
I hope you don’t see any
Obi stop worrying so much
Nothing will happen
Road safety should hope they don’t see me
Obioma imagines a road safety officer peering into Nafisa’s car with a torchlight and seeing her red-rimmed eyes and a hastily packed bag filled with a laptop and phallic shaped objects.
….call me when
you reach so I can
tell the gateman
Obioma goes back to her textbook and prays Nafisa does not become a trending topic online. Maybe as she calms down, Obioma can finally get the chance to talk to Nafisa about her feelings for her and how she thinks they might be reciprocated…
About the author:
Onyeche Ada Onobu is a content creator and aspiring writer from Benue, Nigeria. She writes flash fiction pieces with elements of black comedy, drama, science fiction, fantasy, and Afrofuturism. She studied at Salisbury University where she majored in Creative Writing and minored in French. She currently freelances at a broadcasting television network in Abuja, Nigeria where she writes scripts, edits videos and films comedy skits. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.