TW: calorie calorie (n. vulgar) 1. an obsolete unit 2. the energy needed to raise the temperature of 1 gram of water through 1 °C (now usually defined as 4.1868 joules) 3. equal to 1,000 small calories (they are very tiny, baby calories) “A slice of this rocky road brownie with marshmallow fudge, maple fondant and caramelized smoked pecans contains 537,000 small calories.” 4. your worth, expressed numerically (remember, one calorie is 1,000 small calories or 4.1868 joules) 5. to condemn vigorously and often irascibly for some real or fancied fault or defect 6. to condemn to a punishment or fate especially: to condemn to hell 7. to bring ruin on 8. your worth, expressed numerically, too much/never enough/always imbalanced/your body boils the water but it never turns to vapor Letters Inspired By Light
The Night Watch fuck windmills, what is this the 16th century? it's all about bikes now the Dutch are awfully sweet people it's just those bicycles acting rude and rowdy when the country went into lockdown the bikes broke free at night and burst into empty coffee shops to get high on their own drama the lack of tourists with starry-nighted eyes created a vacuum for those sweet cheese wheels to burn rubber in they wanted to pop into the Rijksmuseum but got distracted by the other museum that looks like a bathtub and also by weed doe normaal! the Dutchies would mutter under their breaths but bikes have no ears and are blissfully immune to this ever so slightly passive-aggressive utterance lacking a nervous system, bikes are incapable of passive aggression they do know that eventually they will end up in the canal after being eviscerated for spare parts, but mercifully they live in the eternal now the eternal Dao, the eternal oh for fuck's sake, I don't mind the bike but that lock was pretty pricey the carbon composite wheels of dharma turn and sing: you spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round like a record, baby, right 'round, 'round, 'round a love song that wafts from the bottom of the canal later: the bottom of the sea but we don't have to go there yet there are still enough fingers to pacify those embankments that reluctantly rhyme with bikes Dis/Own Dis/Neyland you get a random sum in a square or you don’t and can buy a street but more likely can’t and what would you even do with a street? can’t roll it up in your purse it’s just loud and dirty each bill should come printed with a bunny you can color in a connect-the-dots clown as a reminder it’s a shitty piece of souvenir a show reel for insecure dudes a terrible origami an even worse thermal blanket and a very short-lived bonfire God created money for vending machine sodas and/or in his own image and thought ”what the fuck” ”I’m not two-dimensional and gaudy” God disowned it but it was too late I can’t disown what I want to fuck/marry/kill it comes out of a wall or a mine but it’s never mine it fell too far from God’s grace that’s why he went to rest because his head hurt so much Liger, Liger, Burning Bright (Or Bennifer in Space) some things are hopelessly drawn to each other: magnets tongues and frozen metal Bennifer continents who similarly just can’t let go and may one day meld their frail identities into Neopangaea or possibly Amasia or Aurica who sound more like old flames meant to be together delighting paparazzi as their tectonic plates touch base in some four billion years Andromeda and Milky Way will hook up so eagerly waited by the fandom it’s already christened Milkomeda the liger of space the great cosmic anti-Brexit the heroes merge their identities and while that may cast out a star or two no celestial bodies are likely to be crushed only the heart of Perseus but in another few billion years that, too, should have healed
About the author:
Maija Haavisto has had two poetry collections published in Finland: Raskas vesi (Aviador 2018) and Hopeatee (Oppian 2020). Her English poetry has appeared or is forthcoming in Moist, Capsule Stories, ShabdAaweg Review, The North, Streetcake, ANMLY, Eye to the Telescope, Shoreline of Infinity and Kaleidoscope. She does poetry readings on Youtube @DiamonDie. Follow her on Twitter @DiamonDie.