Imagination

I’m unsure where to begin
I’ve lived many lives
Been a part of and parted with many worlds
Is there a point to creating a fantastical world of and from my imagination if it never actualises as imagined
If bliss from imagining is better than the conceptualized versions of the worlds?
I am an amalgam of joy & grief and so is my world
The sadness is bleeding into my work & it shows
What sort of world would I create?
A world of monsteras, orchids & lillies
A world of more constancy in joy than loss A world where I feel purposed in my being
A world where being alive doesn’t feel like slowly dying
A world where father stays
A world where mother smiles
A world where the man doesn’t hit
No beds are pushed by drunk lovers on my sober body A world where the man says he loves me…
…without…
A world where withOUT I am love
WithIN
I am lovED
A world where I am calm
A world where I know what it means to receive love
A world where I know less lessons
More contentment in adventure

Do not let your pain bleed into the paper
I imagine a world where the pain bleeds not onto the paper.
 

The world

The power, once actualised, to create one’s vision is quite something
She’s powerless, she often believes, to creating a world from thought.
But she sits & sees love
She dreams in love
The world IS love
An expansion of heart
A depth in sight
A love that lasts
A love that lies least
A love that stays
Eyes that ever so rarely cry
Silence & beauty
Silence in beauty
& the stillness of mind.
A world where she knows that the conversations with her friends are love
A world where she hears “I love you” & feels it reverberate through her.
A world where she believes that she is worthy of love,
Just as is the meaning of her first name,
AMANDA!
Maybe the problem isn’t that all she imagines is love,
Maybe it is that she knows not that she IS love.

About the author:

Amanda Nellie is a woman in search of her word and world. Through words, this Kenyan wordsmith captures the essence and complexities of love, life, and beauty in ways that invite people to reflect on their own relationships with themselves, their people, love, and life in general.

Feature image by Allison Saeng on Unsplash