1.
Today, I dream of a world. I think of a world where I wake up to the smell of the earth, the birds singing softly, the women tending to each other, the children preparing for their day, animals jumping about and existing happily, and me laying there on the bed, watching all the peace and joy.
I want to wake up in a world where women live, together with their animals. The women who love cats, the women who love dogs, the women who love snakes, the women who love horses. I want to wake up in that world, seeing women love and adore each other, living in harmony, building a world without war, and showing real respect for every human being.
I imagine a world filled with women, no glass ceilings to break, no sticky floors to keep female-dominated careers on low pay, no glass cliffs that leave us exhausted and mocked by the patriarchy.
I dream of waking up and resting on my bed for an hour because I have no fear that not rushing out of my bed will affect my income and life. I dream of existing in a world so beautiful and calm, a world without rush and hustle, a world without discrimination, no capitalism, no hunger, no ethnicity, no racism, no classism, no poverty, no injustice.
In my imagination, the streets are pink and white, but mostly, women choose what colour they want for their streets and houses and they live on each street according to the colours they want. There’s enough land and the women are farmers, but there’s also tech and medicine and architecture, art, dressmaking, shoe making, winemaking and many more industries that these women have built to make life so much fun, ones like I have never seen before; they have found a way to protect the earth. In this city, there are trees and plants on every corner, there are means of transportation, like the flying electric bus that doesn’t emit dangerous gasses in the atmosphere.
Our festivals are magnificent and colorful, from the dance-steps to acrobatics, to the display of talent and beauty, the colors are wholesome.
The sports are fun to watch; we see the strength, the agility, the tenacity of womanhood and we enjoy and savour the presence of one another.
Children are happy, well-educated, and well-loved, they belong to everyone and everyone cares for the children irrespective of who gave birth to them. In this world, there’s no femicide, no high mortality rate, no high infant death rate; the doctors are well paid and they do their job well, they love everyone.
I imagine a world where I wouldn’t be afraid to walk at night, a world where I don’t have to share my locations when going on a date. I want to walk barefooted on beautiful grasses planted by the streets, smell the flowers as they bloom, and fall in love with the trees every day. I imagine watching the sky and the moon every night with the women and children around me. I imagine sitting around a fireplace, talking, laughing, telling stories, and taking occasional silent breaks to lay still and watch the moon and sky as we let the cosmic beauty heal us.
A beautiful world.
2.
Realizing that I love women has been the most beautiful experience for me, but every day I find myself imagining a world where I don’t have to keep this love a secret. I love that I love women, and I love that I desire women and I want to scream everyday that I love women.
I desire a world where I hold my lover and kiss her in public—at beaches, on dates, on trains, and on buses. I imagine how we gush over each other and look lustfully as we walk down the street. I imagine not ever having to worry about my family disowning me or not accepting her as a family.
In this world that I imagine, queer rights are not a debate and we don’t have to protest to be seen and accepted; here, it is perfect to be queer, with no shame, no hate, and no bias.
In this world,I find love with women, I find sisterhood in women, I find joy with women, and I love for women. The people in this world have no bias because queer is just as important as heterosexuality.
My love is not an abomination, it is normal and warm and recognized as beautiful. In this world, I live freely, I live without fear or the need to hide some bits of me, I live with my lover as much as I want to, and she lives with me as much as she wants to. I travel this world with her. I love her in all the magical ways that she exists and everyone who comes around us sees how much love we share.
In this world, women are my life and they keep me warm, they hold me when I am heartbroken and they tend to me, they nurse my broken heart and body into life again and watch me smile for the first time in one month.
In this world, my healing comes from women, community, and love. We see each other, we hold each other, we love each other, we support each other, and we stand side by side with each other.
3.
Food have now become a love language for me. I find so much appreciation for food. I love food, and I love when people bring me food. It’s not just about how they fill my empty hungry stomach; it’s the taste that lingers in my mouth, the delicious aroma that tickles my brain and gives me dopamine, the happiness that comes with food.
I grew up attending my parent’s church. It was a sabbath church and one of the things sabbath churches are known for in Nigeria is that they cook very often. I remember the smile and joy that came with collecting my share of the food and eating together with my friends. It was elevating.
Maybe that influenced my desire for food unions and eating in groups, especially with people I love. I love the smile on people’s faces as they eat, and I enjoy the happiness that food brings. I love the unity and the laughter.
Now that I am grown up, I don’t enjoy cooking and I starve most days because I am too lazy to cook and serve myself.
In the world that I dream of, food would be available to everyone. I would probably never have to cook, the women in my world would feed me and I would cherish their every meal.
I wouldn’t mind washing the dishes, as they wouldn’t mind making enough food for our community. I would give all the gifts that I can—scented candles, lavender oils, gardenia perfumes, coats, make-ups, paints, articles of clothing, everything they want because they keep me alive, they sustain me,they give me energy, they give me food.
In this world, we have a sufficiency of everything that we need and we do not lack, we share and we raise each other. We love, respect, and cherish each other, and we teach our children to do the same.
A world filled with women; it’s the world flowing with milk, honey, and love.
About the Author:
Chidera Ochuagu is a writer and a feminist, she shares her works on medium and on AMAKA. Her works have also been published on Isele Magazine and on Ayanfe Magazine. She is currently pursuing her degree at the National Open University of Nigeria.
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