At last, I know a butterfly’s pain. Lying on a blanket in the park. Staring at clouds. One with the Sun. She holds me in her warm, forgiving love. And I love her back. This time, without borders. Without fear. It took me 22 years to become this brave. 22 revolutions. 22 revelations. I put one leg before the other and skipped and danced around my Celestial Mother. Half asleep, she smiled and kissed my temples and there buttercups began to bloom. I experienced a magical metamorphosis. It began as a slow and angry ache. A tearing of flesh and a thundering migraine. It took my breath away and left me for dead. I had nightmares of a stranger’s forgotten childhood. I felt hopeless. It fed on my dreams and my desires. And finally, when it had consumed the illusion, I went entirely into submission Then, thank God, I was able to see the humble and supreme beauty of becoming oneself I was left with no choice. A magnificent metamorphosis brought me here today. I know a butterfly’s pain. I know the consequence of a single-minded labour. Unhinged, I followed roads I could not see through a foggy mind. I ploughed the same earth as my forefathers. I sowed the same seeds. I battled an ancient, ardent confusion. I missed my grandmother I took dishonest lovers And then, like an unexpected and well deserved gift A veil was lifted. Insidious and overtly I changed
About the author:
Gaelle Lonji is a PPE graduate from the University of Johannesburg, a language teacher and an avid reader and writer. She enjoys expressing herself through poetry.